My Neighbor Took Her Life This Week
And all I can think is what could I have done to prevent it.
It had been a couple of weeks since I had spoken to her and I meant to text her and see how things were going. Did you get that job? Did your kitty make it home again?
And, every time I looked over at her window and thought when I get upstairs I want to text her.
I always got distracted by something and then forgot. I have a lot going on. My dog is old and needs a certain routine when we come into the house. This is a big distraction in my day.
Suicide Family Support
Then her friend showed up looking for her this week. They called the police but they can’t just break into her house. There was a lot of banging on doors and windows, but that really just scared the cats.
Her brother and Mom showed up today and I lent them our ladder to climb in her balcony. He found a large rock and broke the sliding glass door. Cuz that’s all he could do. It was a crazy loud crash.
He came out of the house so quickly I figured she wasn’t there. The whole time I had thought she went to visit her family or went somewhere else.
I was wrong.
He said she was purple.
Oh my god. That is just awful.
Then you trace back your thoughts over the past week… she didn’t take out her trash, think she’s ok?
I haven’t heard her leave the house in a while, think she’s ok?
She moved in about 2 years ago and her life was always a little sporadic. Though in the beginning, she had a dog that got her out. She had a job.
Suicide Prevention
It’s not the first time I’ve had these thoughts while living above her on the 2nd floor. And, she always turns up. We chat and then a couple weeks go by until I see her again.
Plus, I’m just not here as much. I’m really only here about 8 -10 weeks out of the year, I just don’t know her that well.
Here I am concerned with my feelings. But you look back… could I have done something to help her? Maybe it would have just prolonged her suffering.
I feel bad for her cats. Snatched up from their home. Someone told me she was trying to get someone to take them recently.
She must have been feeling really bad. It’s just so very very sad.
We hope she is in a better place with her dog that passed away last year. Peaches. She seemed happy when she was with her.
She will be missed.
Am I A Terrible Person?
(And, my last thought, could I be a better friend? I had another friend dump me before and I never knew what the deal was. I would call and she wouldn’t return my calls. And, after a while, I just stopped calling.
That went on for a year or two where I never heard back from her and then she reached out to me again.
She said nonchalantly, yeah I was going through some things. So, people don’t really want me to help them go through the things? /Ok — we are friendly again. We mostly text, so it’s a relationship that’s only at arm's length right?
These people are just too distant to me. They aren’t quite close enough to me for me to even know if their behavior is odd. I have been rejected by so many people and by so many people that I thought were my friends that I did give up some time back.
I adjust to the rejection pretty quickly. You don’t return my calls — I guess we’re done and I move on. I don’t really think about it much after that. If it had never happened to me before that’s another thing.
But, now it’s just… ok, never mind, I got a lot of other stuff I can do. Best wishes and I move on.
I don’t really know how to pester someone that isn’t interested. I can’t imagine that because I didn’t text her in the last couple of weeks that she took her own life. I don’t really think I meant that much to her.
Do you think a small chit-chat would have done anything? So then what would really have made a difference? I don’t think I would have been in a position to do anything to save her.
If people aren’t that close to you, do you think you could do something to protect them from suicide?)
